Chapdelaine House

Happy-After Christmas! I had a great holiday yesterday with my immediate family; the first here in Ohio, really...as we have traveled to Seattle for the past 22 years of my life (uh, yes...that's all of them!) All the gifts I recieved were such blessings. I got a digital camera from my parents, btw, which means I will now have photos to post of my own! No more waiting for others to take them. My mom gave it to me It was great to hang out with my family on Christmas, giving and recieving love and gifts. I am learning so much about love and my family this trip. Previous journeys home have been a huge weight on my heart, a burden that I could not bear. Most likely this is because I took the weight myself, not allowing my Daddy to take the weight. ..:// I've been reading Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald for a men's leadership course i'm in. The last chapter was about Wisdom and Knowledge in our private worlds. MacDonald describes people who are struggling...

There are times when I feel so under the weight of life. Being away from the environment of school and friends (and fiance ) is difficult...my surroundings are less than life-giving most of the time...which makes it hard to keep myself happy. Is that what I really need? To be happy? No. Happiness is a faux feeling; it's worthless. There is no depth to happiness. It is one of those emotions that plays with your head: Ithink i'm actually OK when the reality is that there's no depth to it. So, again: i'm promised JOY. Everlasting joy. Not Happiness. Yuck. Who wants happiness anyways? Why should I be joyful? "For your Maker is your bridegroom, his name, GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies! Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel, known as God of the whole earth." Is. 54:5 Merry Christmas indeed. Even when crap seems all I can find in my day, I am the fiance of the Lord God of the Angel Armies. He knows what is going on when I do not. He is in control wh...

Sometimes...even when I'm doing stuff...I feel like I'm lazy. ...and yet, here's God, still saying " I miss you ...come to my table, eat off of the deep, blue, china...have wine, be with me!" That's my heart. DC